When you're in a drab place with dull people, you can rescue the situation by asking interesting questions, and walking around naked.
January 10/11 - Saturday/Sunday
Visit a local museum and leave a donation. Nothing says "Thank you" like a basket of snakes.
January 12 - Monday
Never be too busy to prey.
January 13 - Tuesday
At the next committee meeting, give everyone a Tootsie-Roll Pop and a bottle of rum.
January 14 - Wednesday
When leaving a restroom, open the door with the paper towel you used to dry your hands. Then drop little germ-infested pieces of it into the shopping bags of those around you.
January 15 - Thursday
Add Garris Keillor's Good Poems to your home library, right along with your collection of naughty limericks.
January 16 - Friday
Never admit to anyone that you've run out of money, just leave the table before they bring you the bill.
- Mood:
stressed
For Christmas this year I received a day-to-day calendar entitled "Life's Little Instruction Calendar." Every day it offers you some small piece of advice that was inevitably drawn up by a very irritating, very self-righteous little person with too much time on their hands. As this calendar was given to me with love and good intentions, I shall do my best to make it through and put these insipid little verses to use. Therefore, I've taken the liberty of improving each daily saying as to make it more practical. What follows are the latest installments - forgive the fact that they do not begin January 1st. At that point in time I was considering tossing said calendar out the window of a very tall building, hoping that at least then it would become, quite literally, someone else's headache.
Warning: Some verses contain extremely violent additions. Well hell, most of them do.
January 3/4 - Saturday and Sunday
Get to know someone whose hobby is woodworking. And choke them.
January 5- Monday
Optimists have twice as many good days as pessimists; so be an optimist. Or else.
January 6 - Tuesday
When hosting a cocktail party, make sure there is enough peeled shrimp, and ill-prepared blowfish.
January 7 - Wednesday
It ain't over until your wife says it's over. And then shoots you.
January 8 - Thursday
Give any family disagreements your full attention. That means no TV. And no armed toddlers.
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:Leona Lewis. Yes, sometimes I listen to pop music.
Opening Credits: Don't Forget to Remember Me - Carrie Underwood
Waking Up: Busted Stuff - Dave Matthews Band
First Day at School: The Moment I Said It - Imogen Heap
Falling in Love: Girl - Tori Amos
Losing Virginity: All that I'm living For - Evanescence
Breaking Up: Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
Life: Watershed - The Indigo Girls
Mental Breakdown: Out of My Way - Seether
Flashback: Just Blue - The Weepies
Getting Back Together: Wake up - Alanis Morissette
Wedding: Only Love - Linda Eder - The Scarlet Pimpernel
Final Battle: Boys Will Be Boys - Panic! at the Disco
Death Scene: Fade - Staind
Funeral Song: Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap
End Credits: In the Mood - The Puppini Sisters
The five elements of Japanese philosophy
Wind - Fu
Place to place
Back and forth
Forward to better moments
I move
Fire - Ka
Fierce and raging
Passionate and wild
Consuming words and people
I need
Earth - Chi
Feet on the ground
Solid and stubborn
Head in the clouds
I think
Water - Sui
Lows and highs
Unsteady and fickle
Try not to drown
I feel
Sky – Ku
In between the lines
Fall and recover
Hold it all together
I love
I'm not sure yet.
Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Nope.
What song is stuck in your head?
I'm Not Who I Was by Brandon Heath
Wanna have kids before you’re 30?:
I don't know that I ever want them.
Name something you have to do tomorrow?:
Be in a parade. And do two shows.
Can you whistle?
Sometimes? I know that's a random answer but sometimes I can, and sometimes I can't.
Do you miss your last boyfriend?
I don't know how to feel about my last two boyfriends actually. But I'm going to go with no. If they didn't, why should I?
What gets in your way of your sleeping?
All this working stuff I have to do.
Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
Both Mom and Dad actually.
Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes.
How do you prevent anger?
As with all things in my life, I go straight to crying.
Do you think too much or too little?
Way too much.
Do you smile a lot?
I think?
Who was your last missed call on your cell phone?
I think it was my sister.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Anna. Tonight. But it's all good.
When's the next time you will see the person you like?
What person? I'll see my roommates tonight.
Are you happy with your life?
I am happy with it, but I am not contented.
Can you handle the truth?
I live by truth. And usually. As long as it's not given without mercy or consideration.
Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday?:
I try to.
What was the last book you read?
Neverwhere by Neil Gaimen.
Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nope.
Is there something you always wear?
Sweat pants? My Smokey Quartz necklace. Oh, and clothes are good.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?:
Surfing the internet.
Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
My sister or my mom.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My sister or my mom.
Did you have an exciting last weekend?:
Not really. Just busy.
Have you ever crawled through a window?:
Yes.
Have you ever dyed your hair?:
Yes.
Are you wearing a necklace?:
Actually I'm not right now.
Are you an emotional person?:
Ha! That's cute.
What's something that can always make you feel better?:
My cat. And M*A*S*H. And sleep. And good food. And hugs.
Will this weekend be a good one?:
Gosh I hope so.
What do you want right now?
Sleep.
Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?:
Yep.
Look behind you, what do you see?
The couch.
Have you ever worked in a food place?:
Yes.
What would you name your future daughter?:
Eleanor Margaret
Any summer plans for 2008?
Working, laughing, having a good time.
The last thing you heard?:
What Not to Wear on TLC
Does anyone know your Myspace password?
I don't know if I even know my password....
Off.
Do you flip your pillow to the cold side?
All the time.
Do you like to hold or be held?
Both. But I love to be held.
Do you want a small or big wedding?
Small, I think.
Have you ever churned Butter?
Nope.
Are you trusting of new people?
Somewhat. I can usually read people pretty well.
What is the most money you would spend on a pair of shoes?
My tennis shoes were like $50 and I thought I'd croak. I like Payless.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Purple, I think.
Would you rather help someone out or be helped out?
Help someone. But there are times when I could use a hand as well.
If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt?
I don't know. I'm not sure I want kids at all. But I'd almost rather adopt than have my own children.
What woke you up this morning?
Alarm. And creepy dreams.
Where are you?
Home. Last day.
How was your weekend?
Fabulous! I was in WV visiting Kelly, Madalyn and Mama Ruth. I miss them already...
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
No.
When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday.
Ever thrown up in public?
Okay, two or three times. But the best one was in high school. I had bad cramps and I yarfed in front of the library windows and a whole of people trying to study. Yep... those were the days.
What is on your mind RIGHT NOW?
I should be packing.
Where would you like to live?
Everywhere. Chicago, France, Italy, Florida, Spain, Elkins WV, England... I'm not picky. Anywhere that isn't in Ohio is great by me.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I don't want to grow up, and I am an actress.
Who is your number 1?
Abby.
Are you good friends with this person?
I am.
How often do you log in to myspace?
Maybe once a week? Maybe?
Do you like candy necklaces?
Not as much as I like Ring Pops.
What was the last thing you drank?
Water, I think.
Who do you miss?
Mama Ruth, Kelly, Madalyn, Alexis, Whitney, Amie, Chris, Abby, all of my school friends... A whole lot of people.
What are you doing this weekend?
Driving. And then unpacking.
Whats your favorite kind of soda?
I like Coke Zero.
Last hug?
Chris, yesterday morning.
How many times have you eaten sushi?
A couple of times. I like it, as long as it isn't oddly textured.
What do you want to do right now?
Take a nap. Or a bubble bath. Both would be nice, but not simultaneously.
Are you listening to music right now?
Nope. But I'm singing in my head.
What pisses you off?
Apathy, Irresponsibility, Ignorance, and Meanness.
What song makes you cry?
A lot of songs make me cry. "I'd Give it All for You" - Songs for a New World, "Shine" - The Spitfire Grill, "Still Hurting" - The Last 5 Years, "Leader of the Band" - Dan Fogelberg, "I Feel So Much Spring" - A New Brain, "Home Among the Hills" - Wesleyan Choir, "The Luckiest" - Ben Folds... there's a bunch.
What makes you happy?
Electric blankets, Frampton, Kissing, Taking walks in the sun, Reading a good book, Knowing I am loved.
Height?
5'1"
Eyes?
Brown
Piercings?
Ears... used to have my belly button... :(
Tattoos?
Not yet
What are you wearing?
Sweats and a ratty t-shirt. Sexy, I know.
What's the taste in your mouth?
chocolate.
Is your myspace profile private?
Yes.
What do you carry with you at all times?
My cellphone and my passport.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Chris.
Who was the last person you talked to in person?
My Dad.
Is someone mad at you right now?
Who knows. I don't think so.
Where are you most ticklish?
I'm ticklish everywhere.
When was the last time you were sick?
Umm... 3 months ago.
Have you ever finished a rubik's cube?
I've actually never started a Rubik's Cube.
Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes.
What did you accomplish today?
Nothing. I have got to get started here....
Name all of the people you have texts from?
All? Chris, Scott, Aaron, Whitney, and Duper most recently.
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Having nightmares. Boo.
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
I think I was taking this survey.
Last place you took a plane to?
Chicago, I think.
Have you ever been around someone who was high?
Yes.
Do you like your life as of now?
We'll know here in a few days.
Last thing you purchased?
Goumas Chocolate. Mmmm...
Have you ever drank alcohol with your number 1?
Yes.
How's your heart lately?
We'll see in a few days.
Ever kissed someone who smokes?
Yes.
Are you a jealous person?
I try not to be.
Did you have a good birthday last year?
Last year.... I don't know? I generally don't have good birthdays.
Are you tired right now?
Yes.
Do you chew on your straws?
Sometimes.
Have you ever been called a tease?
Yes.
Do you have curly hair?
It's wavy.
Do you ever wear it that way?
Sometimes.
Who was at your house last besides family?
Oh gosh... My father's private lessons I think.
Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
Probably. I think I'd rather they not like me for something I did. :)
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Maybe? I don't do so well without sleep.
Do you like to cuddle?
Love it.
Do you cry a lot?
Sometimes.
Do you have any siblings?
I have a big sister.
What should you be doing right now?
Packing, Erin. Packing.
Are you a heavy sleeper?
Not really.
When was the last time you did the dishes?
We have a dish washer.
Are you waiting for something?
Yes.
Who are you liking?
That's a long list but I'll limit it to Abby, Alexis, Kelly, and Chris.
Who is your best friend?
Abby, Alexis, and Kelly.
Who is your favorite family member on your moms side?
My Gram, I think. But I love my Aunt Marsha and Aunt Glorianne
Who is your favorite family member on your dads side?
I abstain courteously... But I guess I'd say Aunt Bev.
Who are you closest to?
I don't know. Alexis, Kelly or Abby.
Who do you tell your secrets to?
Alexis, Kelly or Abby.
Who were you with last night?
Schmiles. My teddy bear.
Who do you live with?
My cats and my folks... for one more day.
What's your favorte color?
Purple.
What's your favorite sport?
Dance
What's your favorite number?
28
What do you do in your spare time?
Read, Walk, Watch movies and TV, Daydream.
What are your pets names?
Frampton, Isabelle, and Daisy.
What's your favorite song?
Oh gosh. It's currently "Can't Go Back Now" by The Weepies.
What's your favorite T.V. show?
M*A*S*H
What's your favorite movie?
Under the Tuscan Sun.
What vehicles do your parents drive?
a PT Cruiser and a Chrysler Pacifica
Where were you on your last birthday?
Home, I believe.
Where do you live?
Ohio for one more day.
Where do you want to live?
Anywhere but Ohio.
Where was your last vacation to?
Vacation that wasn't in any way work related.... Has to be Chicago for New Year's.
Where did you go in a car last?
The Chiropractor.
Where do your grandparents live?
One in Dayton, one in Hammondsville
Where do you want to go to college?
I already did. :)
Where is your heart?
It's in there somewhere.
When did/will you graduate?
2003 and 2007
When do you want to get married?
When I find somebody I'm willing to put up with, and they're willing to put up with me, too.
When are you happy?
I don't know. I try to be happy most of the time. But I'm most happy around my friends and my sister.
When did you cry last?
Yesterday morning.
When are you moving next?
TOMORROW!
When are you going to bed?
I don't know. Late tonight.
What is your worst subject in school?
It was Math. and Science. I don't think that way.
Do you like your job?
We'll find out.
Do you have a Facebook?
Yes.
Are you a good speller?
Yes.
What was the last movie you saw in theaters, was it good?
Hmmm... Constantine's Sword at the Athens Film Fest. And it was fabulous.
How many and what kind of animals are in your house?
Three cats. Soon to be none :( I want to take them with me.
When's the last time you took a nap?
Dunno.
Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
I try not to.
Have you ever been on a roller coaster?
Yeah, but I'm a scaredy cat.
Could you date someone taller then you?
It would be hard to find somebody to date who wasn't taller than me.
When was the last time something bothered you?
Yesterday.
Have you learned any lessons today? If so, what?
Not really? Not today.
What was the highlight of your week?
Seeing Kelly and Mama Ruth.
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Yes.
Do you currently have feelings for someone? Do they know?
Yes and Yes.
Does someone like you right now?
Yes. He better.
How is your hair?
Messy
Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
Yes.
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Kelly, I think.
What's on your mind?
Packing.
Have you ever kissed anyone named Andrew?
I don't think so?
Do you have trust issues?
Sometimes.
Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive. But both are hard.
- Mood:
lazy
"Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where I started again makes me wanna stand still."
She's so very correct in her assessment. But then I know that I can't stand still (no Footloose jokes please) either. It's time for me to move on... onward and upward, literally. Cripple Creek, CO has an elevation of 10,000 feet. Ha! We'll see how I do adjusting to the altitude. At any rate, spring has come and I'm starting a new life. And I get to do it on my own. One more lyric for you, coming from The Weepies new album. I adore them, really.
"But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself"
- Mood:
hopeful
Firstly, and Chris, I forbid you to 1. be offended or 2. tease me for my perceptions, was The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. Not being something I would typically pick up to pleasure-read, much like Alexis' The Master and Margarita but without the impossible names, I was preparing myself to be... well, honestly, bored. Whenever someone asks you to read their favourite book there is always this living fear that you will begin reading and utterly despise the prose that unwinds before you. And then you will have to spend 3 months reading it. And then make up nice things to say about it. This fear is worsened when you know that this person's entire opinion about your romantic suitability could change should you hand the book back and say "It sucked." Gladly, Chris, I can say to you that it did not suck. Not an ounce. Although it wasn't what I was expecting either in the way of the "tormented love" drama described on the back, or in the way of sheer action and story-telling. Instead I found it philosophical and yet I was still interested in what happened to the characters - even though the 'story' itself seemed almost an afterthought sometimes. And here's the part where I feel stupid: I can't figure out what I liked. I don't even know why. But I did. I guess that's enough. And now I find myself inadvertently looking for a black bowler hat...
The Girl With No Shadow by Joanne Harris (OhmyGodreadallofherbooksnowplease) was also not exactly what I was expecting, but as always with Joanne Harris - I was not disappointed. I can see now where she often thought of Holy Fools as the prequel to Chocolat. The Girl With No Shadow is, of course, the sequel to Chocolat. Same characters. Gosh I love her books. The only thing that bothered me, having now read both Chocolat and its sequel, is that in the movie version they have changed Pantoufle into a kangaroo... he is a rabbit, damn you! It made me curious as to why they'd have changed it. The books (Chocolat and Girl With No Shadow) are astoundingly dark, as was Holy Fools. Also, I craved chocolate the whole time I read.
Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman was an interesting read for me. Having only read one other of his books - Stardust - I wasn't really sure what to expect. First, Stardust is fabulous. If you haven't read it, read it. Anansi Boys reminded me a lot of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy for some inexplicable reason, but I wasn't sure how much I really liked the book until I finished it. I've thought about it several times since then. I almost put it down about 100 pages in, but the main character, Fat Charlie, is so endearing that you must keep reading. And now I feel somewhat different about spiders. Not that I won't still squash the next one I see.
Not the End of the World by Kate Atkinson. Don't bother. Really.
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert is proving to be a fabulous read. The second title is "One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia." I've only gotten through Italy and half-way through India, but I'm really enjoying every second. She has given me a lot to think about with her startlingly honest declarations such as:
"Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time- everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
I do not relay these facts about myself with pride, but this is how it's always been."
I feel horrified and yet comforted by this admission as I often feel this way about my own relationships. I acknowledge this and have been trying to work on it, however, and 7 lonely months have actually taught me rather a lot about myself. Conversely, this book has also made me laugh out loud with passages like:
"So I'm sitting at the dinner table all by myself, making an effort to restrain my fork, when I see a man walk over with his dinner tray, looking for an open chair. I nod to him that he is welcome to join me. I haven't seen this guy around here yet. He must be a new arrival. The stranger's got a cool ain't-no-big-hurry kind of walk, and he moves with the authority of a border town sheriff, or maybe a lifelong high-rolling poker player. He looks like he's in his fifties, but walks like he's lived a few centuries longer than that. He's got white hair and a white beard and a plaid flannel shirt. Wide shoulders and giant hands that look like they could do some damage, but a totally relaxed face.
He sits down across from me and drawls, 'Man, they got mostquitoes 'round this place big enough to rape a chicken.'
Ladies and Gentlemen, Richard from Texas has arrived."
All in all, it's fabulous. Read it. And don't confuse it with that other book, "Eats Shoots, and Leaves," as I did whenever I would try to talk about it with other people. Eat Pray Love has nothing to do with punctuation.
Happy reading.
- Mood:
thoughtful
The Spring Awakening soundtrack that I acquired this morning
Kimya Dawson
Free underwear at Victoria's Secret
Free things from Bath and Body Works - apparently this was "have things for free week"
His name is Chris
Lilian Jackson Braun, even if her last book was terrible. The woman is ancient - give her a break.
KT Tunstall
Sunshine
Dave Matthews Band. Finally! I can listen to them again without wanting to yak (the act of yaking, not of being a yak.)
My two best friends
Chicago (definitely not the show)
Chocolate. Lots of it.
Loudly patterned clothes
Employment
Singing loudly and most likely off-key to annoying pop songs in the car
Voting for Obama
Things I'm hating today:
Snow
Cold
Inability to wear flip flops without my feet falling right off.
The Newark Public Library's lack of books by Joanne Harris
Tracy Chevalier's lack of recent publication. Get on it, woman!
Lost friendships.
Holes in my tall socks.
- Mood:
weird - Music:DMB
I have a new favourite! Holy Fools by Joanne Harris is magnificent. It's a brilliantly well-told story about a woman named Juliette (aka Soeur Auguste) and her daughter Fleur, who are taking refuge within Sainte Marie-de-la-Mer - a French nunnery circa 1610. Juliette weaves in her own past as a traveling actor/rope dancer amongst the "holy fools," or "God's innocents," amidst a stormy present. As an orphaned child she leads a life of mystery, sadness, and survival - entangling herself with the book's antagonist, The Blackbird (aka Guy LeMerle.) This man haunts every aspect of her life until the day he arrives in the flesh at the Abbey, disguised as a priest. It's a tale of corruption, romance, war, and deception, wonderfully thought-out and concluded. The book itself actually caused a little bit of a stir even before its release because of the involvement of the Catholic church - the second time Joanne Harris uses it as a vehicle for treachery, as in Chocolat. The end of the book was also protested by editors who wanted a quick end to The Blackbird. Harris takes another road instead that keeps the characters human.
Some quotes:
"I devote my days to a God for whom I have little affection and even less understanding."
"I have never believed in God. Not in your God anyway; the one who looks down onto his chessboard and moves the pieces according to his pleasure, occasionally glancing up at the face of his Adversary with the smile of one who already knows the outcome. It seems to me that there must be something horribly flawed in a Creator who persists in testing his creatures to destruction, in providing a world well stocked with pleasure only to announce that all pleasure is sin, in creating mankind imperfect, then expecting us to aspire to perfection. The Devil at least plays fair. We know where he stands. But even he, The Lord of Deceit, works for the Almighty in secret. Like master, like man."
"And the Blackbird? We too are linked, he and I; I need no philosophy to tell me that. Well, let him come. If he has a part to play, let him play it soon, and quickly; because if ever I see him again in the flesh, he knows that this time, I will kill him."
Okay folks. Go and read. And while you're at it, read everything else written by her as well. None of it will disappoint.
- Mood:emotional
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